How To Get What You Want

We all want something from someone.

We want to be heard, understood, valued. And getting people to realize is simple: just ask. Speak your mind. And I agree with that to a point.

But what about the difference between honesty and cruelty? Because saying what you want can be an act of bravery. People can take it the wrong way. They get defensive. And since when is it ok to make people feel bad just to get what you want?

That’s a mindset from the mob and people that steal lollipops from kids.

Consider these scenarios:

Scenario 1: You feel like communication with a friend is failing with a capital F.

You could: Email the friend and ask why she went AWOL for two months after finding out you were engaged. And by the way, what’s up with the mood swings?

Or: Tell her how much you miss her. Invite her out to lunch. Later in the week, give her a call.

Scenario 2: You wonder why a magazine never features your products.

One way to handle this would be to slam your hands on the table and say, “Hey – It really bugs me that you don’t feature my awesome stuff in your magazine. What’s up with that?”

Or try: “I have a great story idea for your magazine. I have some cool connections and some photos I can zip right over. What do you think?”

Scenario 3: You want more romance in your marriage.

You could: Ask your hubby why he never does anything nice for you anymore. Do flowers ever cross his mind??

Or: Buy him flowers.

The idea I’m presenting isn’t new, but it begs repeating: See your part.

What part do you play in communicating with a friend? What part do you play in romance? What part do you play in promoting your business?

Think about it. How much communication is necessary? How can you simply help other people want the same thing?

Instead of wondering, “What can you do for me?” – Reverse.

Not: I want.

Instead: I am here.

“Let no man imagine that he has no influence.” -Henry George

So tell me – how can I help YOU?

Photo by FotoRita [Allstar maniac]