A lot of my friends became mothers this year, many for the first time, a few for the second.
Going from being one of the only ones in the group with kids to being one of the only ones without a baby was hard. My friends became sleep-deprived strangers.
The truth is, having kids of any age makes you a different person than before. Life takes a new perspective. Living becomes a little more challenging. Balance goes a little haywire.
Mommy guilt becomes a constant demon.
During a precious girls night out, my friend recalled some of the recent challenges with her two-year-old and newborn. It was clear she was exhausted, feeling the way lots of us do sometimes: like the life and energy you used to have has been sucked out and turned you into a mombie.
We all have those days, those weeks, those really long school years.
As she stopped for another sip of wine, I said, “Mr. Right and I both think you guys are awesome parents. You’re doing an amazing job.”
She looked shocked. Even like she might cry.
“It sure doesn’t feel like that somedays,” she said.
No, it doesn’t. Been there. And for the record, for my friends, for the sleep-deprived mombies reading this:
You are awesome.
You felt more helpless than you’ve ever been when she cried.
Even after all the books, blogs and magazines with the answers, baby threw a curve ball and you kept swinging.
You pumped at work. Planned the best birthday she can’t remember yet.
You stayed.
You let someone else help.
Worked all day. Woke up all night. Wondered, “What’s wrong?”
You let go of things that pale in comparison.
You put everything else on hold.
You found out: this is really hard.
This is something much bigger than yourself … the hardest job with the best reward.
Stress, times 10. Love, times 100.
