Wipe The Slate Clean And Let Life Sparkle
Are you writing your own story in life?
If you don’t get to the bottom of this post, at least read this message: Start living life alive. Start doing things in line with what you want out of living. Stand up from the cushy rut that’s making you miserable.
Join me: Air out your old routines.
My family just started an 80 Day Project to write our own story.
Pondering the areas that could use a second look, there was an unmistakeable urge to make the act of cleaning very literal. I felt drawn to the idea of minimizing our posessions, spring cleaning and decluttering almost as a form of external thought. The physical act of cleaning, renewing and airing out would prepare us for some of the more mental areas we wanted to address.
If you’re thinking that wiping the slate clean is a good place to get started, here are some tips:
Involve the kids, willing or not. The 80 Day Project discussion had a super positive vibe as we gathered around the kitchen table. At first, both kids were wary. “So … we’re just going to do a bunch of chores in the next 80 days?” said Little Boy. This was met by an ever-darkening sulk by Little Girl. “Not at all – we’ll do some projects as a team, yes, but it’s more about figuring out the best way to live life. We want to make sure the things we do matter and make sense.” Did it make sense to a 10 year old? I’m not sure. But the sulkiness disappeared, so I’m thinkin’ it did.
Roll with the positive waves. Like ocean tides, the waves of willing participation rise and fall. Don’t focus on that. Keep it positive. Keep the team focused on the main objective: being a team, acting like a team, no room for selfish. One example of a less-than-high tide was when the kids fought – relentlessly – over the broom while deep cleaning the garage. The best solution was to ask Little Boy inside to help the team with a different chore. There were a few tears, but the team feeling was kept alive in spirit. By the end of the day, both kids felt amazing at what we had accomplished as a team. No matter what their actual jobs, they both knew we’d finished projects as a team. Their part mattered.
Marvel at the unexpected. Despite some fighting, here’s something beautiful: As Mr. Right hosed out a winter’s worth of grime from the garage, the kids rode bikes through the stream of water cascading down the driveway. Watching them laughing, challenging themselves, just being kids in a puddle … I had an overwhelming feeling of rightness with this project. They were outside instead of watching another movie on Netflix. The team was working and playing together. It was simple happiness in motion. When Mr. Right cautioned them to watch out for soaking their shoes, I gently whispered: “Let them play.”
Revisit the rules. During our initial meeting, we talked about some things that weren’t really working. For one, the dishes. Before, washing and drying responsibilities switched off each week – one week it’s Little Boy’s job, the next week, his sister’s. Since she hates dishes, I proposed a new routine to my son: “How about you and I take over dishes from now on? We’re really good at them. Daddy and your sister can take over something else we don’t like to do.” There was no fight. No, “Well that wouldn’t be equal.” Instead, he agreed. He even gave me a knuckle-bump.
It was something so simple, but real. It was my family’s story. It was a place knuckle-bumps definitely belong.
Are you writing your own story in life?
If you don’t get to the bottom of this post, at least read this message: Live alive, not just a life. Start doing things in line with what you want out of living. Stand up from the cushy rut that’s making you miserable.
Join me: Air out your old routines.
My family just started an 80 Day Project to write our own story.
Pondering the areas that could use a second look, there was an unmistakeable urge to make the act of cleaning very literal. I felt drawn to the idea of minimizing our posessions, spring cleaning and decluttering almost as a form of external thought. The physical act of cleaning, renewing and airing out would prepare us for some of the more mental areas we wanted to address, too.
If you’re thinking that wiping the slate clean is a good place to get started, here are some tips:
Involve the kids, willing or not. The 80 Day Project discussion had a super positive vibe as we gathered around the kitchen table. At first, both kids were wary. “So … we’re just going to do a bunch of chores in the next 80 days?” said Little Boy. This was met by an ever-darkening sulk by Little Girl. “Not at all – we’ll do some projects as a team, yes, but it’s more about figuring out the best way to live life. We want to make sure the things we do matter and make sense.” Did it make sense to a 10 year old? I’m not sure. But the sulkiness disappeared, so I’m thinkin’ it did.
Roll with the positive waves. The waves of willing participation rise and fall. Don’t focus on that. Keep it positive. Keep the team focused on the main objective: being a team, acting like a team, no room for selfish. One example of a less-than-high tide was when the kids fought – relentlessly – over the broom while deep cleaning the garage. The best solution was to ask Little Boy inside to help the team with a different project. There were a few tears, but the team feeling was kept alive in spirit. By the end of the day, both kids felt amazing at what we had accomplished as a team. No matter what the actual jobs, they both knew their part mattered.
Marvel as the story unfolds. Despite some fighting, here’s something beautiful: As Mr. Right hosed out a winter’s worth of grime from the garage, the kids rode bikes through the stream of water cascading down the driveway. Watching them laughing, challenging themselves, just being kids in a puddle … I had an overwhelming feeling of rightness with this project. They were outside instead of watching another movie on Netflix. The team was working and playing together. It was simple happiness in motion. When Mr. Right cautioned them to watch out for soaking their shoes, I gently whispered: “Let them play.”
Revisit the rules. During our initial meeting, we talked about some things that weren’t really working. For one, the dishes. Before, washing and drying responsibilities switched off each week – one week it’s Little Boy’s job, the next week, his sister’s. Since she hates dishes, I proposed a new routine to my son: “How about you and I take over dishes from now on? We’re really good at them. Daddy and your sister can take over something else we don’t like to do.” There was no fight. No, “Well that wouldn’t be equal.” Instead, he agreed. He even gave me a knuckle-bump
It was something so simple, but real. It was my family’s story … Chapter one, a place knuckle-bumps definitely belong.
SEE ALSO:
Come To Your Senses
You Are Awesome Part II: Mothers
{ 5 comments }
Hi! I came here from Chris Brogan’s blog (I’m a fellow book-winner). I’m intrigued, and will be watching for more about your 80-day project. And I’m thinking we need to talk (and do) about our family’s story, too.
Hi Kathleen – Nice to meet you! Please stay tuned, we are right in the midst of it (on the blog and in real life, too). I’ll head over to your blog now. Keep in touch!
Oh, one more thought… 80 days is a great number, because it’s twice 40 days — which is a traditional cycle for transformation and change. It generally takes 40 days for lasting change to take effect, so double that would be VERY good luck I’d say, and a good chance for life-changing good-ness all around
I like that … you’re right. 80 has felt like a perfect number from the start.
It sounds like a great idea, and a great way to start your new life story! I enjoyed reading about how you were able to get your kids involved, and I definitely agree with your line “live alive.” I’m interested to see how the rest of your 80-day journey unfolds
Comments on this entry are closed.