This is a guest post from Dr. Corey Allan of Simple Marriage.

The chief happiness for a man is to be what he is. ~ Erasmus

How much thought goes into what you do for a living?

Since sleep has lost a great deal of respect in our society, you likely work more than you sleep. With work consuming so much of your time and energy, it would make sense that work impacts other areas of your life – specifically life at home.

There are two ways work can define you:

You are what you do.

Or –

You do what you are.

Society lives by the first – you are what you do. When you meet new people, one of the first questions will be, “So what do you do?”

The answer defines who you are (to others), even if “what you do” is something you can’t stand.

If you really “do what you are,” congratulations. You’re in a field that is completely in line with your desires and dreams. Maybe you work for yourself, or with people in a service capacity because you get a charge out of helping others. If you’re analytically wired, maybe you’re an engineer or CPA. This category has less trouble incorporating work life into the rest of life. Things are often a bit more in synch.

If you aren’t doing what you are, ask yourself, “Why not?” If a job goes against your values, beliefs or desires, it’s not something you want to spend more time on than sleeping. Any negativity associated with a career in this category has a huge impact on yourself, your family, and especially, your marriage.

Does everyone need to “do what they are” to be happy in life?

Not all. Some work a job that is far from their dreams and desires, yet are still happy in life. It’s either because they’ve come to grips with the idea that a job is just a means to an end (it provides the income to do what they love outside of work) or they may not be as happy as they are portraying.

If you want to find more happiness in your career, consider these tips:

1. Do what you are. Discover what makes you tick and work in that arena. The best possible scenario is to find a job you love – something so in line with who you are – that it doesn’t even seem like work.

2. Realize that what you do is a means to an end. Sometimes what you do is simply a job, a way to provide the resources necessary for you to live where you want to live, travel, spend time with your kids, etc.

When you get caught up in hating your job, this spills over into other areas of your life. We do not live compartmentalized lives. One area effects the others, and families are no different – what impacts one, effects all.

So to me, the best thing you can do for your marriage and your family – do what you are or … do what you do and then – do what you love.

It’s that simple.

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Photo by sean dreilinger