Recently, Mr. Right’s grandma died. She was 93 years old and lived her days with a lot of spunk, even up to the end of her life.

Her spirited approach to life was unmissable, from the disco ball in her bedroom to the tattoo she claimed to have (turns out she didn’t – the mortician confirmed). It’s bittersweet to know she died the way she intended – at home in her own bed, never spending time in a nursing home.

After her death, I asked Mr. Right’s mom how Papa was handling the news. She replied:

“You know, both of her sons always treated her so well. They really don’t have any regrets.”

It was an unconventional reply that made me reflect on life. Over the years, I’ve seen firsthand how hard it is to say good-bye when you have regrets. Not everyone is lucky enough to say, “I loved you and I have no regrets.”

No relationship is perfect.

What rocky roads have you walked with loved ones? Maybe as you’re reading this, you’re thinking about a bitter disagreement that happened years ago. Maybe you incurred a deep hurt from a parent or child you think is unforgivable. Whatever has happened, how will you feel when they’re gone forever?

Would you do things the same way? Or would you long for a little more time to make amends?

Are you wasting time? Is it worth it?

Only you alone know the answer to that. I’ve harbored bitterness toward family in the past. I’ve felt victimized over choices they made, but now looking back, I’m happy we’ve moved on. I don’t want to hold onto those regrets.

Today, before it is too late, consider taking some steps toward healing old wounds. Call the person. Start a simple conversation and see where it leads. You could say something like:

• “I’m sorry. I was wrong. How can I make it right?”
• “I want to fix this.”
• “I forgive you.”
• “We really need to get together and talk.”

Even if the other person is unwilling to budge, you can take comfort knowing you tried. To me, that’s a step toward living without regrets. Here are a few more ways:

1. Spend time with the people you love.

Rocky or not, we all get complacent with our relationships. A good example of living without regrets is the weekly dinner Mr. Right’s parents had with Grandma. She loved that time with her sons. Spending time with others brings happiness all around.

Do your loved ones have a place in your life? I know how easy it is to let other priorities get in the way. Today, choose to enjoy more time with your:

• Spouse
• Parents
• Children
• Siblings
• Friends
• Role models
• Someone that needs you

2. Keep those you love close by.

I’ll admit – I’d love to move out of Wisconsin. The winters are cold and extremely unpleasant. The truth is, I hate the thought of leaving our families more. (“I love you more than sunlight.” That says a lot, right?)

The older I get, the more sure I am of our decision to stay here. In my opinion, it’s a choice that makes our lives happier and more meaningful.

3. Treat people well.

Help them, do favors, go the extra mile, cook a healthy meal, pour wine, offer to stay, play them a song on the piano. Treat them well.

4. Love always.

Recently, I wrote about the importance of putting love in front of every action, even when your loved one is acting in anger. This is not easy to do, but I’ve found it’s the thought that counts, often coming when you need it most.

Keep love in your heart to help weather the times when others mistreat you.

Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. -Martin Luther King Jr.

5. Follow Grandma’s lead.

Grandma’s death reminded us: 93 years can speed by. Follow her lead while you can. Don’t take life too seriously. Have fun, tell  jokes about tattoos, plant gardens, laugh often and feed people.

Live in a way that leaves no room for regrets.

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