A small group of thoughtful people could change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has. -Margaret Mead

Do you remember every birthday and holiday? Me either.

My simple nature doesn’t always jive with modern day expectations. For instance, I have always hated the obligation associated with greeting cards. Those simple slips of cardboard stand for a lot of things I no longer subscribe to, like wasting resources and consumerism. As a result, I haven’t sent many greeting cards over the past few years. I’ve done this for financial reasons, too, since four dollars for printed cardboard doesn’t always make my budget.

Recently, I realized the danger with this thinking is that it lets me off the hook for thoughtfulness. When they come from the heart, greeting cards are one of the simplest ways to express love for someone. Since I’ve given them up, I got to thinking … “How exactly do I show people I care?”

The importance of thoughtfulness

Thoughtfulness is the base for a whole list of wonderful human interactions: love, joy, loyalty, friendship, tradition, community (to name a few).

The truth is, you don’t have to spend a lot of either time, money or stress on thoughtfulness. Instead, find a way for thoughtfulness to happen naturally in your daily life – with a little planning, it can take as long or short as necessary.

Here are some pre-thoughtfulness practices to try:

• Truly do things out of love, instead of obligation.
• Really think about the person. Dwell on the reasons you love them. Think about happy times you’ve spent together.
• Make their happiness a priority.
• You can be thoughtful while standing up for your personal convictions. For instance, I hate the wastefulness of birthday parties – the excess paper, decorations and disposable dishes. It’s important to find a balance between my kids’ happiness and my environmentally conscious views.

5 minutes or less

Everyone can find 5 extra minutes a day for thoughtfulness. Try practicing one of these simple actions.

• Send someone an encouraging text. Even something as simple as, “I can’t wait to see you this weekend” can brighten someone’s day.
• Write a kind note their Facebook wall. Use social networks in a positive way.
• Send an email. Keep a long distance relationships fresh.
• Leave a sticky note with loving words.
• Bring someone a cup of coffee.
• If someone hugs you, pull them back to make it last a little longer.
• Give someone a genuine compliment.
• Say thank you while giving a hug or kiss on the cheek. Gratitude make a bigger impact with the power of touch.

30 minutes or less

On the weekend or when the kids go to bed, spend a little longer on thoughtfulness. Print a list of special birthdays and holidays so you can easily come up with a “target.”

• Buy an unexpected treat and serve it on Monday. This gets the week off to a good start.
• Call someone you love. Don’t multi task while you’re on the phone. Be fully engaged while you talk.
• Remember their birthday.
• Honor them on special days, like Father’s day or grandparent’s day.
• Honor them on regular days, too.
• If you want to give a gift, ask the person for ideas. When in doubt, gift certificates for a massage are almost always appreciated.
• Ask for help. Involve your husband or sign up for a reminder service like Birthday Alarm.
• Make cards out of scrap paper or purchase cards that are kind for the environment.
• Make breakfast in bed. IMPORTANT NOTE: Just don’t wake them up too early.

1 hour+

Including those we love in our day-to-day life is so important. Go the extra mile and plan something extraordinary. You can spend as much or as little money as necessary.

• Spend time with them. Visit your parents. Do something with your kids. It means the world to them.
• Find out what their favorite meal is and make it as a surprise.
• Coordinate an awesome surprise party just for them.
• Plan a secret weekend getaway with your spouse. Take care of all the details like getting a sitter, lodging and a romantic activity the two of you can share.
• Keep loved one’s personal interests in mind by planning an activity centered around a specific hobby, like a folk music festival for a violinist or a full day of classic movies for a screenwriter.
• Bake their favorite cake.
• Foster the art of thoughtfulness with your children by including them in the process. Take them shopping to pick out Father’s Day gifts. Include them in planning their sibling’s birthday parties. No doubt there will be a chance to teach a lesson on selfishness at the same time.
• Shop locally. It makes the process of buying and giving gifts a little nicer.

kindness + mindfulness

I still believe society has placed too much attention on buying stuff as the solution for thoughtfulness. Mindful actions can help change that. We can still buy greeting cards and gifts if we want.  Or, simply bake a loaf of bread to share. Enjoy a concert together. Go on a picnic and feast on fresh air.

Celebrate life by honoring those that bless the journey.

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Photo by Mait Jüriado