Living with teenagers means I’m often listening to their troubles.
School sucks. Friends act weird. Soccer socks and binders are MIA, again. Drama, stress, confusion, it’s all there.
As they vent, I can’t help wanting to make them believe things will get better. I may tell them I know how they’re feeling, which is met with an expression of doubt. And then I’ll mention how I approached this or that situation when I was their age … and I see their eyes go blank.
I’m thinking now:
Sometimes, we aren’t meant to fix.
Sometimes, we should simply listen.
I may have to bite my tongue for this experiment, but this week, I’m going to focus on listening to my kids instead of throwing out solutions. I’m not going to categorize what they say, or explain how I personally survived. I’ll give them my attention, but nothing more, unless they ask.
I’ll post my thoughts on Twitter. #onlistening
Your turn … Tell me your troubles. Or anything.
Photo by cuellar
{ 2 comments }
I taught high school (10th and 11th graders) for three years, and I can tell you without a doubt this is the best thing you can do for them! So many times, they are just talking things out. They’re not sure what they think yet, so they kinda ramble on and sometimes say things they may not really mean. Obviously, I’m not saying you shouldn’t follow up if you’re concerned, but most of the time, teenagers just want to have their say and stew on it a while. I know my students always appreciated just knowing they could talk to me openly and know I wouldn’t judge them for whatever they had to say. I would always pray for them if I had concerns or offer them advice if they asked, but mostly, they just needed me to listen. Good luck with your goal this week! Your kids will love you for it
My daughters are younger, but I think sometimes this is true for them as well. A hug and an accepting ear. Especially the hug.
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