I love the optimism everyone feels at the start of the new year. The bad things that happened seem to pale – so last year … time has a way of doing that. What really stands out are the good things – for me, how I’ve grown, personally, and the things I’ve learned as a wife and step mom.

I enjoy seeing how Mr. Right and kids have grown, too – And how we’ve evolved as a family … with (almost) two teenagers … and thinking of what that means for the future.

Turning this year into the best year

There are some key habits I turn to when I think about living my best life – and by acting on these things, my life has definitely improved. For instance, I’m able to work from home part-time and support the family as a homemaker the rest of the time. I can honestly say life feels:

• hopeful
• exciting
• good

Even on the bad days – and believe me, there are days – I know everything will work out. It always does. The things below keep my perspective in line.

Life Checklist

To help you plan for the year ahead, I compiled some key mindsets and actions that have helped me in the past.  Let’s face the new year with these things in mind:

• Know what really matters to you. Spend time thinking about this everyday. I know from my personal experience that this answer changes depending on your goals and dreams in the current moment. Knowing will help you shape the day – and year – ahead.
• Once you know what matters, spend time doing it. I don’t think you have to kill your TV or cancel Facebook to make this happen. But you will have to *some of the time*. The things that matter are the most important – don’t fall into the appealing rut of fake work – do what matters, first, and make it a habit.

Read more: How to Get Your Most Important Things Done

• Need less money. Definitely the most liberating habit I’ve learned since quitting my day job is how to need less money. The art of spending less hasn’t been easy. You’ll need to teach yourself how to do it. Embrace a frugal lifestyle and learn smart ways to cut expenses. Needing less money is one way to be free from obligations you don’t want – for instance, working all the time.

Read more: The money/budgets category of this blog.

• Work on the big things. Decluttering your home and simplifying your schedule won’t lead to happiness if there are big problems you need to focus on first. Things like consistently feeling unhappy with your marriage … or a child who is out of control … or eating wrong … or never exercising. If there is a big problem in your life, make this year the one you choose to tackle it, fully.
• Stay connected. Again, decluttering, minimizing your wardrobe and simplifying are all great things – but there is little more important than staying connected to the people you love. Make time for them – and fill up some dates to connect on the calendar.
• Only boring people are bored. There are so many interesting things to do in life – go out and find them. Learn about them. Experience them. I know how it feels to get in a rut – watching the same shows, eating the same meals and going on the same date nights. Try something new. Invigorate yourself in the new year. This gives you something to be excited about – something to look forward to everyday.

By knowing what matters and taking action, 2012 can be the best year of your life. I encourage you to enjoy the process – personal growth takes time. Some of you don’t have a lot of extra time, and that’s okay. Keep the pressure minimal – as long as you’re taking some action, you can feel good knowing that any action – no matter how small – eventually leads to change.

Photo by Stuck in Customs

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” - Henry David Thoreau

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Many of the things you can count, don’t count. Many of the things you can’t count, really count.” – Albert Einstein

“One joy shatters a hundred griefs.” - Chinese Proverb

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” -  Richard Wagner

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” - Flora Whittemore

“Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.” - Socrates

“Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit.” - Hosea Ballou

“One can furnish a room very luxuriously by taking out furniture rather than putting it in.” - Francis Jourdain

“Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot. In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.” - Oscar Wilde

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” – William Wordsworth

“Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.” - Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros

“You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.” - Steven D. Woodhull

“All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary.” - Sally Ride

“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” - Baba Ram Dass

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.” - Gandhi

“Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman

“Money often costs too much.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” - Lao Tzu

“It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” - Chinese proverb

“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never make your most important decisions when you are in your worst moods. Wait. Be patient. The storm will pass. The spring will come.” - Robert H. Schuller

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” - Ovid

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Photo by SweetOnVeg

Life is full of blessings. Last year was no exception.

The end of the year is always a good time to reflect and give thanks for the good stuff. This blog is on the list.

Peace and Projects grew from 600 readers to more than 1,200 – that makes me smile. Thank you so much for reading and commenting and sharing my work. I love writing here and I hope you’ll enjoy the posts in 2012 even more.

Some of the personal highlights from 2011:

• I released my first ebook, The Hybrid Homemaker, on my 30th birthday.
• I won the Marsha Dunlap Award for my YA novel (in progress) The Channels. I’m close to finishing my second draft … and will begin the exciting process of submission soon.
• I had a guest post on Zen Habits: Burnout is Beautiful. 
• I spent tons of time with family and friends – weeks in the Northwoods, a trip to Portland, two wonderful writing retreats. These trips and more were made possible by Mr. Right, my incredibly gracious in-laws (who help us out with the kids) and my flexible work schedule … which I continue to love and appreciate.

Life is good. So many people enriched my life and made 2011 an incredible year. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Reader Favorites: Top Peace and Projects Posts from 2011

Here are the most visited posts from last year … read them again and enjoy. Happy New Year!

1. 25 Simply Beautiful Ways to Show Someone You Care
2. 5 Guidelines to Help You Create a Stunning, Basic Wardrobe
3. 20 Practical Ways to Stop Being Busy
4. 5 Steps to Get Out of a Funk, Fast
5. 4 Key Habits that will Improve Your Whole Life
6. What is Simple Living?
7. How to Practice Mindfulness
8. 7 Super Sweet Things to Do for Yourself and Others
9. How to Reduce Your Clothes in 2 Weeks (with Almost No Effort)
10. Permission to Skip Permission

 More favorites:

• Top 10 Peace & Projects Posts of 2010

Photo by chotda

When you think about your job or relationships or resolutions for the New Year, first answer:

What makes you come alive?

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“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

Photo by Noukka Signe

1. stillness
2. meals with people you love
3. rest your hand on his back
4. do what makes you feel alive
5. make music
6. sometimes – peace and quiet
7. hot coffee
8. look outside for a new perspective
9. look inward for help from yourself
10. do what you said you would
11. slow to speak
12. radiate love
13. encourage instead of criticize
14. sing
15. meditate
16. move your body
17. for me, write
18. take your time
19. do something, not everything
20. mindfulness
21. real food
22. cash budgets
23. go for it
24. persevere
25. another day to try

May your holidays be filled with peace, love and time to simply be.

Merry Christmas.

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It’s easy to support my work: 1) share my posts or 2) buy my book to read more about my path to a simpler life. Click the link!

Photo by Picture This / Patty

Besides joy, the holiday season can bring plenty of other feelings into our homes – stress, irritability, anxiety, you name it.

Blame it on everything extra we have to do – shopping, baking, decorating, cleaning and planning for enough food to feed an army. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, so are your kids and husband. It’s a domino effect we’ve all seen before.

I feel the pressure too, almost as if this time of year is a race to the finish. Stress is unavoidable in life, but it doesn’t have to define the holidays. Before the season began, I thought about last year’s experience – what I loved and what I definitely didn’t want to repeat.

I made two simple decisions that (so far) have made the season much more enjoyable:

1. Do what you can at your own pace.

Most people are surprised to hear we don’t have a tree up yet. We will soon. Our schedule has just been full of other things the last couple weeks. Instead of cramming it into our schedule because we “should” have it up by now. I wanted the experience to be fun – something we can do t0gether without feeling rushed. I used the same mindset for putting up the outdoor lights and decor.

Complete the work of Christmas at your own pace – it’s truly much more enjoyable.

• Read more: You Have Two Choices: Enjoy, or Make it Enjoyable

2. Eat right … most of the time.

I indulged during Thanksgiving and at holiday parties – and I’m okay with that – but I don’t want to stuff myself silly on a regular basis.

Help yourself by creating a menu for mindful eating. Our daily habits are what gets us in trouble this time of year. Write down your favorite healthy meals and eat those foods … most of the time.

Here’s what I’ll be eating:

• Breakfast: Irish oatmeal (with blueberries, flax seeds and a pinch of brown sugar) or a fruit smoothie
• Snack options: Cut veggies & hummus, apple, pear or citrus
• Lunch: Sandwich and side salad
• Read more: Get Back on Track via Zen Habits.

There are so many things I love about the holidays – time with family, the way the house sounds on Christmas morning and having two kids who truly appreciate every gift they receive. Being realistic and taking care of ourselves can make the season shine.

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Dear reader:

• If you want to support this blog, please share it on Facebook or Twitter (click the share buttons below) OR
• Buy my book. It would be a great Christmas present to yourself.

Photo by Brigitte Deisenhammer

My life has changed a lot in the last 5 years. You’ve probably read my story.

Thinking back, I never believed my life could be different until someone else shared his story. You might know the feeling – maybe you feel there are too many obstacles in the way of having a simpler life or becoming debt free or quitting your day job. But reading that story, something amazing happened. Suddenly, I felt I could do it, too. All of the overwhelming obstacles felt like problems I could solve.

Let me be clear: Change is not easy, but the steps toward change are incredibly simple – so simple, anyone can follow along. Here they are:

1. Stop.

To focus on change, you have to find time to do it. Things like quitting your day job, getting out of debt and simplifying are very complicated (at first). There’s a lot to learn and try and you can’t do more with the same amount of responsibilities. (Well, you can, but I wouldn’t recommend that for your mental health.)

You might think there is nothing to cut from your daily routine, but I hope you’ll take another look. Think about everything you do – from the time you wake up until bed. Then, look at your calendar and find things you could skip or stop doing.

As mothers, we have a lot to do, but I still found ways to simplify … and I believe you can, too.

2. Ask for help.

The first person to ask is yourself. Commit to the change, fully. Set goals for yourself and stick to them. I find it helpful to write down my goals and tape them to the wall.

Help yourself by researching how other people have done what you want to do. Rent books from the library. Read online.

Next, talk to your family and friends. Ask them if they have ideas on how to reach your goal. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Ask your immediate family for help in specific areas – for instance, more help with the housework so you’ll have time to work on a side business.

3. Start.

Define the things that matter to you and start doing them. I decided to get healthier, change my career path and get out of debt to live a simpler life. The things that matter to you might be different. Write them down and start doing them today.

The life you want

If you’re unhappy with your life or choices, you can follow the steps above to make it better. You must. No one else will do it for you.

Years ago, I read a story that helped me believe I could change. I found myself faced with two questions:

1. What if someone told you it was possible to change your life, right now?
2. How would you do it?

You’ve got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you’re not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice. ~Steven D. Woodhull

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• Share this post on Facebook or Twitter.
• Read my book. Click here now.

Photo by movimente

We spent Thanksgiving with my parents. They have these amazingly comfortable blankets – fuzzy and thick and warm. On the car ride home, I really wanted one. Not because I need a new blanket. Simply because I wanted it. Badly.

It’s an easy thing to do this time of year.

I’m not going to demonize the feeling – There are things I want for Christmas. Things I’ll buy for others, too.

But when I got home, I used the blanket I already have.

I looked at it and felt how it warmed me and how there was nothing wrong with it at all. My blanket wasn’t new, but suddenly, I wanted it and that was the perfect feeling to have to start the holidays.

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I know how easy it is to get carried away by the sales and excitement during the holiday season. All of those new, shiny things we want (and they’re probably on sale).

Before you spend, take a moment to consider what you already have. If your closets and cupboards and storage are already bursting, maybe you can enjoy those things.

Now is a good time to be reminded:

• Do not go further into debt this Christmas. Spend wisely and stick to a budget. Read this post for more holiday budget help.
• There are alternatives to buying new. Read Leo’s post for ideas.
• If you bring something in, take something out. 
• Give a little love and let love come in.

There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little. -Jackie French Koller

Please note: In order to slow down during the holidays and finish my novel, I’m limiting myself to one new blog post per week. I hope you enjoy the posts!

Check out the Simply Beautiful Things archives here.

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For more ways to slow down, read my book, The Hybrid Homemaker. Click here now.

Get free email updates or follow me on Twitter and Facebook. Click the links!

Note: If you’re not interested in writing, you can skip this post, or read my list of simply beautiful things for a dose of inspiration.

I know a few of you are writers, or aspiring writers, so I wanted to share a little more about my daily fiction writing process.

Last year, I wrote a novel in a month. That manuscript is my number one focus right now.

I write fiction everyday. My goal is to have a good draft of The Channels (young adult fiction) written by January 12, 2012. Then, I’ll start a new book and try to sell my finished project.

To reach that goal, I have a smaller goal: write 5,300 solid words per week.

The writing life

Writing is something I love to do. I can honestly say I look forward to it every day.

After savoring a cup of coffee, I write for about 30 minutes. Then, I take a break to workout, shower or eat breakfast. This cycle continues until the kids get home from school (sometimes later as needed).

• Read more: How to Get Your Most Important Things Done

Defining solid words

I do my best work on deadline. That’s why I keep track of my word count in a simple excel spreadsheet so I know where I’m at for the week.

Here’s the routine I follow to come up with “solid words”:

• At the end of the day, I copy and paste the new scenes of my novel into book format. The text is single spaced and reads just like a book. (In Word, choose page setup, margins tab, and click “book fold” under multiple pages.) I’m a much more critical editor when reading my own work as a book.
• Before bed, I read my book and circle words or paragraphs that need work. I don’t always know how to improve them at the time, but I know that – as a reader – something doesn’t sound right.
• The next day, I rewrite those scenes and hopefully have time to write some new ones, too.
• Repeat with each scene until there are no more circled words or sentences. (This can take three or four nights.)
• Celebrate as many solid words as I can get!

Remember, I’m already on the second draft of my novel and past the crappy first draft stage … Barely.

How to reach huge writing goals

5,300 solid words per week is a hefty goal, even though I’m able to write full-time.

I wrote like crazy on Monday and Tuesday, but only had 200 solid words written by Wednesday morning. (Blame that on my revising method mentioned above.)

There was a bit of panic.

Here’s what I did to end my writing day with 3,287 new words:

• Turn off the phones.
• Don’t check Facebook or email until you reach your goal.
• Don’t clean the house or fritter around with laundry. You’ll get to it eventually.
• Improvise and delegate. Go out to eat or ask your spouse to make dinner instead.
• Write everywhere. After the kids got home, I lugged my laptop to my son’s doctor appointment so I could write instead of read magazines in the waiting room. (Headphones required.) Later, I wrote while he searched for a new book at the bookstore.

I don’t do this everyday, but when I fall behind, that’s how I get back on track.

It’s been a long day – I’m mentally exhausted – but I reached my writing goals. It wasn’t pretty, but right now, it feels amazing.

I hate writing, I love having written. ― Dorothy Parker

What is your writing process? Also, what are you working on right now?

• For more of my writing, you can read my book, The Hybrid Homemaker. Now available.
• If you liked this post, please help support this blog and share it. Thank you!
• I’m taking next week off from this blog to be with my family and still reach my fiction writing goal. May your holiday be full of peace and love. xoxo 
• You can follow my fiction writing progress on this blog – check out the “novel in progress” meter in the sidebar.

Photo by jjpacres

There are two really good ways to approach everything we need to do:

Enjoy it – or make it enjoyable.

I was thinking about this while recalling a Zen Habits article where Leo wrote, “Enjoy the process.” That’s something I often forget, but his advice is priceless. With those words in mind, I’d like to share these tips:

How to Enjoy Practically Anything

When I think about a task as a to-do item, I definitely don’t enjoy it. Things like laundry, vacuuming and scrubbing the toilet are hard to love. But I know from experience it’s possible to enjoy anything. It’s all in how you approach it. Here are a few tips to help you enjoy practically anything.

Think about what you are doing. Watch how your hands move, how the laundry feels and what sounds fill the room. Be mindful in what you are doing and you will truly enjoy it more.

Go slowly, but steadily. Often, I dislike tasks because I’m rushing through them. That never feels good. The truth is, every moment in life matters, and life is not a race. Do things at a slower pace and don’t worry about the next item on your list.

Everything we do could be worse. I don’t like doing laundry, but what a blessed life I have to be able to open a machine, add soap and press a button. I don’t have to bring my basket to a river poisoned by garbage. No matter how much there is to do, there is someone out there who is doing something much harder, and I can appreciate that it isn’t me.

How to Make Anything Enjoyable

This is a fun one. While I do believe it’s possible to enjoy practically anything, I don’t think we have to ignore how we feel.

If you really hate to do something, why not try to make it enjoyable? In essence, that’s the place I started when I wanted to quit my day job. I didn’t hate my job, but I felt it could be more enjoyable to work for myself. I longed for enough time to write AND manage my home. That was where I started. I asked a hard question: How can I make my job more enjoyable?

You should ask questions like that, too. Write a list of answers as you think of them.

For smaller tasks, like vacuuming or making dinner, you can try adding things you already enjoy to those activities. Here are a few ways I make mundane tasks more enjoyable:

• Listen to music or audiobooks (Recent intense read: Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson)
• Fold laundry while watching a movie
• Ask for help and make the chore playful. Throw washcloths at each other and laugh.
• Designate clean up music for the whole family. We like Bob Marley.
• If you like goals, set a timer and see how much you can accomplish in that time.

I don’t live in a complete dreamworld. I know some things we have to do aren’t wonderful, but a little creativity can improve the experience. I truly believe each day in our lives is unique and worth enjoying to the fullest.

What are some ways you make chores more enjoyable?

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Photo by na_tascha